Jamie, Natalie and Jude’s story
“I will never be able to fully put into words how grateful I am for the support I received at the hospice. They gave us comfort, dignity and peace during the hardest time of our lives.”
As part of our Christmas Appeal this year, we tell the story of Jamie, Natalie and their young son, Jude. Jamie was just 42 when he was diagnosed with a rare and aggressive bowel cancer. The strength, love and resilience that the family had was incredible.
For Jamie, Natalie and their son it was important that the hospice was here to give their family what was needed most at the right time and in the right place for them – care, support, sensitivity and dignity.
Following his diagnosis, Jamie had chemotherapy for a year, and his condition improved radically. The family carried on with life, celebrating milestones with Jude, travelling, spending time with family and friends. Jamie played football for his beloved Ansty FC and performed with his band. However, in July 2023, after a meal out with friends, Jamie woke up feeling unwell and was taken to hospital where he had a scan. It was bad news, and Jamie was asked whether he wanted to die at a hospice or at home.
Our Specialist Palliative Care Community team got in touch to offer help and advice. Natalie realised that she couldn’t do this on her own. She had been juggling everything for a while – managing Jamie’s meds and morphine, being his nurse, being Jude’s mum, working part time. The reality dawned that nothing she could do was going to stop him dying. She knew she didn’t want Jude to see his daddy die, or worse that Jamie would be in pain and she couldn’t help. Natalie called the hospice, and we were on hand to help and support her and her family.
Here Natalie shares her story:
“I remember our journey to the hospice through the trees. We were met by Alice who I spoke to about my anxiety, especially around telling Jude when the time came, and she gave me the best advice… to keep taking photos and making memories. Alice gave Jamie a cuddly donkey toy to give to Jude and I captured them playing catch with it on the bed, with both of them giggling and just being father and son. The donkey was adored from that moment forward, and even now, it is Jude’s go to cuddly when he sleeps.
This was just one of many thoughtful gestures from the hospice team, it was the dignity they gave Jamie, their sensitivity around giving us space when needed, and more support when required. For me, I felt my shoulders relax for the first time in ages. On his last night, I spent some time with Jamie making him comfortable, watching a film, talking about the birds outside his patio door. As evening arrived, I could see he was getting agitated, and one of the nurses suggested it was time to gather the family.
One of the things I love about the hospice is that there is no limit on the number of people who could come and see Jamie, so we had his parents, brother Mark, friend Tom, my parents, all there to say goodbye. I went outside for some fresh air and saw the brightest shooting star cross the Downs, and I knew it was a sign.
My Dad suggested I go back inside and spend some time with Jamie alone. Jamie was my first true love, we had the perfect life I had always dreamed of, and as I lay in bed with him, playing our wedding song, ‘Let’s Stay Together’ by Al Green, I quietly told him over and over just how much he was loved, and thanked him for our wonderful life together, as he peacefully passed away.
After Jamie died, I went home and slept for a really long time, and at the pit of my stomach was the fear of telling Jude. The hospice nurses were brilliant at advising me that children need closure, so I used words like having no pain, final, and ‘died’. That conversation was the hardest thing I have ever had to do, even worse than saying goodbye to Jamie in some ways, and I am so grateful for the help the nurses gave me throughout our time at the hospice.
The hospice has continued to support me with a range of services for bereaved families including counselling. I have been to a couple of bereavement groups at the Living Well Centre, but I am also someone who talks things through with family and friends, which gives me a form of counselling. For me, even now, the driveway up to the hospice building has become part of my grief therapy. I have been to the hospice quite often and just sit in the car reflecting on things.
I will never be able to fully put into words how grateful I am for the support I received at the hospice. I went in thinking I could do it all, but I quickly realised that caring for someone you love at the end of life is both physically and emotionally overwhelming. The team at the hospice stepped in with compassion, skill and understanding. What they do each day is nothing short of incredible. They gave us comfort, dignity, and peace during the hardest time of our lives – and for that, I will be forever thankful.”
Natalie
This Christmas, we want to ensure that more families like Jamie’s receive the same gift of comfort and dignity. Our Inpatient Unit and Specialist Palliative Care Community Teams are here to wrap caring arms around those who need us most and we are asking for your help to make this happen
Whatever you can give will make a world of difference to our patients, their friends and families. Together, we can make sure that no one faces the end of life alone.
Thank you for your support and with best wishes for a peaceful Christmas.
Wrap a gift of comfort, peace and kindness this Christmas.
£90 could provide two hours of care allowing patients to spend Christmas at home with their loved ones.
£550 could pay for all the services on the Inpatient Unit for two hours during the festive season.
£6800 could fund the Inpatient Unit on Christmas day.
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