The Mitchell Family

Jamie Mitchell, 59, from Hassocks was cared for by St Peter and St James Hospice in June 2024 after he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. His son Cam, 20 years old, talked to us about the support the family received, and why he decided to raise funds to help other families like theirs.

“We are a very close family, and Dad was at the very heart of everything. He and mum (Jill) were childhood sweethearts, and they were just the most amazing parents to Carrie (23) and me growing up. Dad was a perfect role model to look up to, he was social and always positive about other people, he kept us grounded and when we needed a serious chat, he was there for us. Dad had his stern side too, but we all knew that Mum was really the one in charge, and when she was in her ‘Go Mode’, Dad would revert to being a cheeky kid with us! Growing up, Dad figured in all my mates’ lives as well, he was really easy to get on with, and I know they miss him too.

Dad grew up in Lindfield, and mum in Hassocks, which is where we grew up too. Like many people in the area, they both had careers at American Express, in fact mum is still there! Dad had also been a Teaching Assistant at Hassocks Infant School, and I remember walking down the street with him and all these kids saying hello. I used to wonder how he knew everybody and how they all thought he was so cool, now I realise he taught them!

Dad was very creative, and always dreamt of becoming a professional chef, but he worked hard at Amex, retiring about 10 years ago. I know that he struggled with his mental health at work, and I think a lot of that was due to him being in the wrong job and not feeling fulfilled. So, I am glad that in the months before he got ill, he managed to finally fulfil his dreams when he worked in the kitchens of Washbrooks Family Farm. I really admire him for being brave enough to step away from a job that just wasn’t making him happy, that takes real guts, especially when you have kids to provide for. Dad loved fishing, golf, music and Brighton & Hove Albion FC and I have many happy memories of watching matches most weekends (and some of the results less so!)

I vividly remember the day we got the cancer diagnosis, I was just going out to meet some mates and mum called me back. The whole family was devastated, especially as it brought back memories of my sister Carrie, who was diagnosed with cancer when she was 13 years old.  The doctor told us that Dad had a matter of weeks, and although he was offered chemotherapy to give him some more time, he made the decision to enjoy the time he had left without enduring grueling treatments that wouldn’t be able to make him better. In many ways I am glad that this stage was quick, I hated leaving the house to go to work and knowing he was in pain, I often heard him crying. I got a call at work one day from Mum to say that Dad’s condition had deteriorated and he was being taken to hospital in Brighton, I rushed home to say goodbye. Dad was put on a shared ward without much privacy, and it was here that they broke the news that Dad didn’t have much time. After four days there, I remember the relief we felt when we heard he had a bed at the hospice. It genuinely felt like the first bit of good news we had for quite a while. The change in Dad, and Mum, was immediate. Dad seemed more relaxed and peaceful and for Mum, I could see that it took a load off her shoulders, Dad was safe and comfortable in this beautiful setting. I have heard many people say this about hospice care, but it’s really true that being there just allowed us to be a family together again. I would come in a couple of times a day and just watch TV with dad, sit and chat, regular family stuff. When he was sleeping Carrie and I would often go and hang out with the donkeys and take in the view of the Downs. Right up until he died, he was cracking the usual appalling dad jokes and looking out for us and telling us to go home if we got overwhelmed, caring about us right till the end.

The help we got from the hospice after Dad died was incredible, Mum had lots of support from the team at St Peter & St James, and Carrie and I know that counselling is available if we need it.

This incredible free support that the hospice gave, not only in caring for Dad, but the way they stepped in and supported us all, is why I wanted to raise some funds to give other families the same chance. I remember asking someone at the hospice why all the rooms weren’t full, and they explained to me that as a small, local charity they could only open rooms if they got funding to pay for them. I was chatting about doing something in memory of Dad with a mate on the farm I worked on later that Summer, and out of nowhere found myself suggesting we could try and run the Brighton marathon! It snowballed from one mate to ten of us, and we registered in December. Jessica Jenkins, “the boss” at Washbrooks farm, where I was working at the time, allowed us to train on the farm, and whilst admittedly it was a pretty short training window, we fully committed. We only started training in January, but by April, we thought we might make it round!

The support from our community when we were fundraising was incredible. Jessica allowed me to run ‘Jamie’s Big Fat Quiz’ at the farm, and people really got behind it, helping to raise £6,000. We also had a big raffle and pub night in Cuckfield which raised around £2,000.  Mum, Carrie and I plus all our friends and family pushed the message out on social media, through work and local friends and businesses. I was completely blown away when I saw we had raised over £20,000 in total!

The marathon was an amazing experience, I have never been so scared and excited at the same time about anything! The first 10k was the best feeling in my life, I started the race with my oldest friends from infant school, Jake and Finn, and as we ran we chatted and I felt my body was in perfect harmony. Our fan club, who were our incredible support crew popped up at moments along the way, and stopping for quick chats and taking it all in with them were special moments. Wearing my hospice running shirt with my name on meant I also had strangers shouting my name and encouraging me to keep going. I really can’t thank Jake, Felix, Finn, Olly, Ethan, Jack, Alex, Oliver and Lucy enough for going on this journey with me. For me though, the biggest highlight was the last stretch. I queued up Dad’s all-time favourite song, ACDC’s Highway to Hell on my playlist, and ran the last mile, stopping to have a hug with Mum and Carrie before I crossed the finish line, knowing dad would have been so proud of me.

I am committed to continuing to support the hospice in memory of Dad. I am just starting out, but I recently trained as a barber, and I am setting up my own business. Having been brought up surrounded by all of Dad’s incredible values, I intend to ensure they remain part of the way I live my life, and helping others is right up there with one of his finest.”